It’s funny, through life there are expectations and “life’s molds” tossed at you by every person willing to call themselves an expert because they’ve simply been doing life longer than you have.
- Learn about hygiene and self care
- Learn to create your own sustenance in the kitchen
- Learn to clean your room
- You have one job as a teen, school, pass
- Pick a college
- Go to said college
- Graduate that college or another college, or go all the way and go to all the colleges
- Do NOT skip the college piece…
- Find a significant other (probably in college)
- Marry them
- Have child(ren) with them
- Buy a home together
- Have a “career” (preferably before the home and child situation)
- Stay married through hardships
- No really, stay there
- We don’t actually care how young you were when we told you to get married, you basically signed a contract so you are definitely stuck
- That career you have to keep to be able to live, we don’t care if you hate it or you hate your boss, stay there
…to name a few
Sometimes, these things work. They really do. However, sometimes, they do not. I can’t tell you how many times I was shamed for not having some fancy college degree or not having children; and I hope you’re sitting down for this….but I have a career and am HAPPY without children….WEIRD! I have plenty of friends who went to college, they loved it, some of them met their spouses there, some didn’t, some have careers, and some have careers in something completely unrelated to their fancy exorbitant college education. I have a brother and MANY friends who went to trade school and LOVED it and love what they do.
I’ve got unmarried friends, married friends, and friends who dabble in all sorts of kinds of relationships; and, if you stood up, you may want to sit again…..in EACH of these categories, I’ve got happy friends, sad friends, unsure friends, friends who educate themselves daily, mistreated friends, lonely friends, and friends that just don’t talk about it.
I believe I’ve made my point – but if you haven’t caught it, let me explain…
Reality is, there’s simply no mold, there’s effort. No one can deny this. You will win at what you put effort into, it’s that simple. Just this year I stumbled upon and put this little gem into action: I will not put energy anywhere it isn’t appreciated, celebrated, and reciprocated. I share this because it’s changed my life. It’s no lie that I know everyone, I collect people everywhere I go, and I’ve been told I’m easy to talk to and be around. The trouble with this is sometimes those collectors items I’ve picked up along the way turn out to be real duds, but they hang on for dear life. It’s taken YEARS of friendship culling for me to find my keepers and that’s simply scratching life’s surface. Some of the friends I’ve worked to keep around are life long friends, some are brand new friends, and some are a few years old but I fell for their silly asses. All of these old, new, and in-betweenies have one VERY serious thing in common….they wildly appreciate my energy.
Speaking of my energy, it’s A LOT. Not only am I repeatedly putting other people’s grocery carts away, I’m also relentless about learning. I love absolutely nothing more than important conversation, topical education, or self preservation. I’ve been persistent about questioning myself and working very hard the last few years to understand people in my life a little better. Does this sound like some silly shit or what? I can see how it may seem full of ridiculousness, but I like GOOD relationships, with good people who also enjoy their relationship with me. I’m a total word nerd, and if you know this about me at all you know how I feel about the word “efficacy”….however, it’s fairly topical here, so I’m biting my tongue and using it anyway: It is 100% your job to lift and empower the efficacy of your life.
That being said, question yourself and YOUR motives, realize you cannot control others but you can absolutely control your actions. This also means you have control of whether or not you go to college, get married, have kids, or ever live anywhere permanently. If we are friends and you want to deliver pizza for the rest of your damn life, I love it, but also I’ll love it if you bring me pizza. I want YOU to be happy, no matter what. I want you to have made YOUR choices that put you in the place YOU want to be and I want to be here to celebrate them with you (over pizza of course).
Peace, Love, and Efficacy