Seems silly to have a hashtag with this purpose in mind. Because hashtags are so often used in the wonderfully dreadful world of social media. Googlegram Twitterbook as I like to call it….
I’ll give you the conclusion followed by a twisted journey into the machine (my mind) explaining how I stumbled into said conclusion – this way you understand the important stuff before getting into the weeds. We will see how this goes because my “why” is a rather spindly web and it would be an impossible task to put it in a color coded neatly packaged list with bullets or a thesis statement for that matter.
I’ll start here:
three six zero.two five niner.9 7 4 7
That’s my cell number. If you want to call me, text me, invite me someplace, tell me something of substance or some silly nonsense – there you go. You can reach me there. I’ve forever felt like social media is a shit way to communicate so now everyone can find my number. If you are thinking “oh my gosh you just gave your number to anyone who reads this”….news flash, not many people will read this and if you run a google search of me, you can find my phone number. It’s not hard. Seems as though scammers in Russia have it so why not anyone taking the time to read my latest philippic?
I quit. I can’t do social media anymore. Sure, I’ll keep my accounts so I don’t get hundreds of texts and rumors flying around saying “Andrea and I aren’t friends anymore, what’s up with that? What did I do?” Uuuugh, nothing is more irritating.
It’s true, I collect people everywhere I go. I am a quick communicator and a real “go-to” that either knows someone or knows someone who knows someone. Truly though, a LOT of the people I’ve collected are real shit. Not “the shit”, just shit. You are. And I’m tired of reading anything you have to say. Sure, I could unfollow you or whatever but this is so much easier. And if you are reading this aghast that I’ve said such a thing, it’s likely I am talking about you. You and your daily vomit of nonsense that slithers its way into my brain because I’ve stumbled into the addiction of reading a newsfeed that somehow doesn’t even show me the people I care about anymore, and only shows me a daily update of the world’s ignorance, can be gone out of my mind forevermore. Algorithms or not, it’s obnoxious. Hey Facebook, what happened to showing the news feed based on time posted and not what you think we want or “need” to see? 🤔
I’ve harbored an ocean of guilt over things I haven’t done the last few years. As I sit here and try to make some kind of sense of the reasons why I should or shouldn’t be on social media ONE huge thing stands out: time. Time has become more valuable to me in recent years. If you have bothered to read my blog or be my friend you know why. The hours I’ve scrolled in a news feed oblivious to REAL time with people I love pangs me. I realize you can’t make “time scrolling on a feed” equal “time spent doing something constructive” because it’s often scattered throughout many hours of the day, however, in my mind I’ve missed hours watching my nephews ride horses and dirt bikes and I’ve missed hours even bothering to get to know my younger niece and nephew. I don’t have to say it but I know somewhere in there years ago I missed time with my grandpa and I have to stop beating myself up for it. The only way to do that is to be that change.
I tried to explain today how I worry people will forget me or they won’t count on me anymore but why? That’s not ON me. If I haven’t made enough of an impression on you that you care to even stop to text me once in a blue moon, I shouldn’t worry about what you need. If I have reached out to you at all outside of social media, chances are you matter to me – so I need you to know that.
I’ve spent the last three weeks off social media completely and it’s been a breath of fresh air. I have gone through bouts where I feel obnoxious texting people out of the blue asking how they are because “gosh Andrea if you’d look at my insta story you would know”….then again, if you’re too lazy to share organic conversation with me – I’m out. I want REAL face time with you. I want you to share something with me because you want me to see it, not because the whole world should. I want to share things in my life, I think that’s clear, but what else is clear – not everyone cares about every second of my life like maybe I thought they did. Some have no idea I’ve taken a step back. And that’s completely fine, it’s probably better.
I went hiking today with two friends who I sincerely enjoyed being around. They had to wait for me plenty and didn’t make me feel crummy about it because everything isn’t a race for them when it comes to time in the wilderness with friends. I’ve had people over and gone on walks and bike rides and enjoyed quiet time in my garden without interruption. I haven’t checked a lot off my list but the emotional strain is still beating me up just enough to slow me down a bit. I’ll get past it. I have lunches and hikes coming up and I’ve had a few already with people who I really enjoy having in my life. The meat and potatoes of all this hot mess in my head is this: I’m sick of filling my mind with everyone’s nonsense and I can’t use social media as my social crutch anymore. If that means I give more effort to manually check boxes, that’s what it is. What would be worse is me tossing in the towel & continuing to allow people in my life who only use me for the good person I know I truly am.
I hope my message is clear. I want more than surface area friendships – less is more. I believe that. So maybe on occasion I’ll check my Instatweet-googlebook (or whatever), heck, once I get my podcast dream turned into podcast reality, I’ll have to share it somehow. Otherwise, if you need me, or want to check in, even briefly, refer to my phone number above. It’s as simple as that.
Till next time friends, stay beautiful, and maybe consider a #NocialMedia sabbatical and see what it does for YOUR soul. I’d sure love to hear about it. P.S. Thank you Kyler, for the hashtag.