I remember when we went to that concert and found my spirit animal and witnessed someone seeing the blue sky for the first time. I remember you meeting me early and teaching me to swim and never letting me talk down to myself. I remember the sweetest note and most perfect timing when you asked for help with your flowers. I remember Brian McKnight and the gazebo. I remember Tom Petty in the parking lot with his American Girl encore and your brownies that can never be beat. I remember flowers when you wanted me to know it’s a GIRL and how you almost forgot to tell me she’d turn out to be my most favorite human. I remember when you came with me to pick out a puppy who is now my 13 year old “baby”. I remember fireworks from your front porch and frozen lasagna in the cooler all the way from Oregon. I remember when you called and told me you were pregnant and the first time I met each of those amazing boys. I remember learning Johnny Horton exists and the time I killed Michael Jackson (it’s a long story). I remember you telling me about a job I should apply for and splackavelli on repeat. I remember topless bonfires and Sister Hazel lyrics on a piece of paper. I remember your call to offer a new job and your guitar at night in the hospital. I remember the first time you asked me to take your son’s photos because that’s when our glorious friendship began. I remember you checking on me when I needed it most and you reminding me my happiness matters. I remember making history with you at the Tacoma Dome and I remember crossing that finish line to see your smile after 13.5 miles (I’m taking that credit). I remember when you told me I was a light that anyone was lucky to have around and I remember you staying up all night just to say you love me for the first time. I remember your email asking if I was available to do your wedding photos because it sparked our friendship I deeply cherish even if the rest of the world doesn’t necessarily understand. I remember when you congratulated me on my new job telling me I deserve it – though that’s sometimes hard for me to believe. I remember Toby Keith karaoke in the driveway at the dairy and singing Drift Away with you at the “Crippler”. I remember our inaugural Alcoholiday and damn we should have copyrighted that term. I remember my first bowl of pho and that spider you killed in the shower. I remember glow sticks and Pink Floyd and laughing for hours with you. I remember your text right before finishing my last leg at Ragnar “you can do this”, and really trusting what you said. I remember your apology for my broken heart but we were young and I remember not having regrets. I remember your card that made me cry on my 30th birthday and your willingness to participate in my game of “sneak a pizza” and car rides to absolutely nowhere. I remember all of these small moments in quick succession because no matter the size, their importance is massive.
I don’t remember anything outside of the feeling. I don’t remember what you looked like or if you showered but I remember how you made my heart smile in the in-between times. Snippets of life that have superglued their place on my heart. These are memories with many people who have come and gone or come and stayed and have made me feel so fortunate to have time with them.
I share this because I think during this time we are slowing down it’s important to remember what matters. That you matter. That this is temporary just like everything else and all we can do is collect the good moments and hope for more.
To everyone who read this and smiled remembering some of these moments too, I love you, and thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being a positive force. I think about these moments and many others all the time, I am the lucky one.
Till next time friends, stay beautiful